We often hear that strong and resilient people have the capacity to bend but not break in the face of adversity or trauma. And it is true that some people bring a deep reservoir of strength to whatever crisis they may face, emerging from it seemingly unscathed.
But in my nearly 30 years as a mental health professional, I’ve seen my share of strong and resilient people who do, in fact, break. The truth is that we all have a breaking point, but that point looks different for everyone. It might be in response to the death of a family member or pet, stress at work, bullying or an illness or injury. These types of traumatic experiences can cause any number of behavioral or physical health issues, from depression and anxiety to heart disease.
But the broken parts and scars that we have aren’t signs of weakness or failure. They are a reminder that we have experienced difficulties and emerged stronger. We need to embrace those scars. The Japanese art of Kintsugi can help us make sense of this perspective on healing.
At its essence, Kintsugi is about taking the fragments from broken objects – say the pieces of a cherished hand-crafted vase – and creating something new and beautiful from them. Rather than throwing the broken object away in sorrow or anger, the Kintsugi artist fuses those fragments together in a way that enhances the breaks. These artists typically use a precious metal—often lacquer dusted with powdered gold—to bind the broken pieces, making it beautiful in its own right – cracks and all.
As we begin this new year, I hope that you will embrace your scars and broken pieces. As you heal and put the pieces back together, remind yourself that you are creating a stronger, more resilient version of yourself. And that process, as well as the end result, can be beautiful.